what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
