I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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