umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
He passed out mid-signature
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
What drink are we having for lunch?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
