living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
