If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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