i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
