Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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