Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
