I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
