Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
