He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
