I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
