I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Less talking, more tequila
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
