So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I wish i was in the wii world.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
