Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
