I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
