absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
