I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I stole a fireplace last night.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
