his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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