That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
