Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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