I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize
