i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
