Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
