I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
