The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
