ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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