after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
