They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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