he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
It was a blind-side dick pic.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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