I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
It was a blind-side dick pic.
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