HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
