I bet he comes in French.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
