dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
