We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
