Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
