did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
