my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
