Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
