Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
