Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i would punch a child for taco bell
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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