apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
