I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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