Whatcha textin bout Willis?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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