i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
How does one acquire holy water?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Randomize
