so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
there is glitter all over my balls
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
