We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
