She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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