Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Panties = found
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