Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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