I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
