mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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