He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
