Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
