i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
