Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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