But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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