Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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